25 Mildly Relevant Facts about Steph Smith

1. Wooden chopsticks freak me out. Nothing is worth risking mouth splinters.

2. Favorite smell? Lemon Pledge furniture polish.

3. I'm famous for being a drug lord but I have never been a drug lord.

4. I could never be a real friend to anyone who eats lamb.

5. My 5 kids were born in within 4 years of each other. Yes, on purpose.

6. 30 year old me would have preferred early death to raising 5 kids.

7. I lived on/off in Brazil for 10 years. My Portuguese is surprisingly shitty.

8. I was asked to sell my story for a Lifetime TV movie & recruited for a Real Housewives show.

9. INTJ is all you really need to know about me but I'm a sucker for completing a list.

10. My New Year's resolution is always to drink more wine and smoke more weed. 

11. Every year I fail at my New Year's resolution. I'm just not a drinker or smoker.

12. I ran 4 political campaigns in 2016 and I'm running 3 in 2020.  

13. I vote in every election, even midterms. You should too.

14. Armored SWAT Police have raided my home. Twice.

15. I spent 2 years traveling the earth. It changed me more than anything else I've ever done.

16. I've been broke and homeless. I lived in a car I bought for $80 at a police auction.

17. Today I own many houses and apartment buildings but still fear becoming homeless again.

18. A real estate developer who supports rent control? I am that unicorn.

19. If you're talking to me, I'm probably thinking "Am I making too much eye contact?"

20. My partner and I got viral famous for turning human fat from liposuction into biodiesel fuel

21. I changed my name because of death threats from religious zealots offended by lipodiesel.

22. Waze is fundamental to my success as a real estate investor. I can't find buildings I own without it.

23. I paint large scale landscapes using house paint samples from Home Depot.

24. I am second generation on my father's side. There is a huge place in my heart for immigrants and travelers.

25. I own 3 forklifts and employees run in terror when they see me driving one.