25 Mildly Relevant Facts about Steph Smith
1. Wooden chopsticks freak me out. Nothing is worth risking mouth splinters.
2. Favorite smell? Lemon pledge furniture polish.
3. I'm famous for being a drug lord but I have never been a drug lord.
4. I could never be a real friend to anyone who eats lamb.
5. My 5 kids were born in within 4 years of each other. Yes, on purpose.
6. 30 year old me would have preferred early death to raising 5 kids.
7. I lived on/off in Brazil for 10 years. My Portuguese is surprisingly shitty.
8. I was asked to sell my story for a Lifetime TV movie & recruited for a Real Housewives show.
9. INTJ is all you really need to know about me but I'm a sucker for completing a list.
10. My New Year's resolution is always to drink more wine and smoke more weed.
11. Every year I fail at my New Year's resolution. I'm just not a drinker or smoker.
12. I ran 4 political campaigns in 2016 and I'm running 3 in 2020.
13. I vote in every election, even midterms. You should too.
14. Armored SWAT Police have raided my home. Twice.
15. I spent 2 years traveling the earth. It changed me more than anything else I've ever done.
16. I've been broke and homeless. I lived in a car I bought for $80 at a police auction.
17. Today I own many houses and apartment buildings but still fear becoming homeless again.
18. A real estate developer who supports rent control? I am that unicorn.
19. If you're talking to me, I'm probably thinking "Am I making too much eye contact?"
20. My partner and I got viral famous for turning human fat from liposuction into biodiesel fuel.
21. I changed my name because of death threats from religious zealots offended by lipodiesel.
22. Waze is fundamental to my success as a real estate investor. I can't find buildings I own without it.
23. I paint large scale landscapes using house paint samples from Home Depot.
24. I am first generation on my father's side. There is a huge place in my heart for immigrants.
25. I own 3 forklifts and employees run in terror when they see me driving one.